[Previous entry: "BOUNCE!"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "I REALLY AM PATRIOTIC...but maybe not in traditional ways."]

11/17/2003 Archived Entry: "POSSUMBLOG IS SICK"

POSSUMBLOG IS SICK

My friend Possumblog is sick. It would be hard for me to describe exactly what has put him in bed, but I think we should commiserate with him as he lies there in Birmingham waiting for it to pass. Here's what he has to say:

Recipe for Misery

One pound of gravel
One tube of contact cement
One cup of sand, grit, or other coarse particulate matter
Two large rocks, approximately 6 pounds each

Take gravel, stuff inside of sinus cavities until firmly packed. Squeeze entire tube of contact cement into sinuses, taking care to ensure that all voids between gravel pieces are filled.

Take out eyeballs, place in plastic bag with sand, shake until fully coated. Pour remaining sand into eyeholes, then replace eyeballs. Tie two rocks to head over eyeballs in order to maintain pressure at bursting point.

Garnish with sprig of parsley.

I have something. I don’t know what it is, and I suppose I should be grateful it’s not accompanied by a 212 degree fever and jet-propelled excrement, but it is something, nonetheless. It started creeping over me during the car show, and was fully formed along about mid-day Saturday. It has stayed with me, and although the congestion and coughing is unpleasant, at least there are the weird, half-awake dreams it produces. Who needs peyote?! Anyway, I am at home today. After I type this, I am going to crawl under the covers and sleep the sleep of the dead for about ninety-eleven hours.

See you all tomorrow with Tales of the Car Show, Getting Sick, Soccer, Fur in my Head, and I don’t know what all else.
posted by Terry Oglesby at 8:10:32 AM Oh, So Many Comments! (2)

You can find Terry's blog, which is enormously humorous, in my blog list to the left.